There are about three or four pregnant women in my office right now. I also just found out recently that a girlfriend of mine is pregnant. I am surrounded by pregnant women, which is making me sort of baby crazy.
I started thinking about what goes into making a baby. I mean aside from the obvious actions. During the period before conception, which I will call pre-conception, what is the emotional cycle experienced by both the man and the woman?
For the woman…
There was a short period of time before my husband left for deployment during which we had made the decision to try and conceive. I stopped taking contraceptives and started paying closer attention to the timing of my cycle.
I soon realized that, for a woman, trying to conceive is bound to cause some anxiety and disappointment. Even though I knew that I was unlikely to conceive in the first month or so after discontinuing contraceptive use, I still felt the disappointment. The things I’ve read say not to fret if it doesn’t happen right away. It can take anywhere from 3 months to a whole year to conceive.
I was also dealing with hormonal changes that go along with the discontinuance of birth control. Women who are going off of the pill should be aware that you may notice emotional and hormonal changes in your body as the hormone levels in your body rebalance. I experienced a mix of depression and emotional instability. It didn’t last for too long and it was a relief to understand that it was very likely due to the change in the hormone levels in my body.
Mostly, I felt excited. I was excited about finally planning to get pregnant. I was excited at the thought of having children with my husband. I was very excited about the prospect of being a mommy.
For the man…
What is a man feeling while his woman is trying to conceive? I have been trying to gain some insight into this question. If I were to try and answer for my husband, I’d say that he can feel nervous. He can be impacted by the emotions of the woman. He doesn’t want to see her disappointed. He wants to be ready. He wants to feel spontaneous, not lobbed into strict routine involving the taking of temperatures and ovulation testing. He wants to feel wanted for his prowess not just for his sperm.
I would say that often man’s state of mind is lost on his woman’s emotional state. His disposition is downplayed. But, I’d also say that a man can be just as excited and just as disappointed as his woman.
I can only guess what my husband is feeling and thinking in this time of pre-conception. I know that at times, he just wants to tell me to relax and have faith that things will fall into place.
Here are some resources providing additional information for couples trying to conceive:
Check out Mason Brown’s hilarious rendition in Trying to Get Pregnant. Trust me, it is the funny that is missing from this post. I cried laughing.
The ThinkBaby website also provides great information on conceiving, giving birth, babies and parenting.
Tomorrow I will be discussing things that a woman could and should be doing now with her body and her lifestyle during pre-conception.
WEDDED BLISS WEDNESDAYS discusses marital and relationship issues. Although this is likely to be biased toward my own experiences in marriage and with relationships, I hope that you will join the discussion, ask questions, and suggest topics that you are interested in discussing. If you like what you see here, please use the orange icon at the top right to receive my content updates by email or RSS reader.